Are you fighting to get to happy?
Sometimes it seems impossible to be happy if you are depressed.? A lot of people suffer from depression, especially a lot of new mom?s.? I promote positive thinking and I am constantly reminding myself to think on the brighter side but there are some days I just want to allow myself to be unhappy.? Wouldn?t it be abnormal to never have an unhappy day?? Don?t we all need to go through hard times in order to learn and grow?? Some of us may handle those times better than others but there are just some days that I want to allow myself to feel what I need to feel without fighting to stay happy.
I was diagnosed with depression in 2001.? I was told that it was a chemical imbalance and that I may always have to deal with and then was prescribed medication.
Now, imagine this?You:
Quit your full-time job to become self-employed.
Reconcile with your boyfriend.
Get pregnant at the age of 37 while on birth control.
Rent out your home to move to another state with your boyfriend.
Get extremely ill and are unable to function or pursue your self-employment adventure.
Find out your boyfriend is lying and cheating so you break-up.
Move in with your sister and brother-in-law.
Have a colic baby with bad acid reflux.
This all happened to me in that order.? I could probably write a book but that is in my past and I am only looking forward.? There were definitely times I didn?t even want to live anymore but the love for my baby boy kept me going.? I fought my sadness in every way possible listed some of which are listed below:
- Exercise ? this was and is the most important.? I tried to walk/jog with my baby boy in a jogging stroller as often as possible and still do.
- Meditate ? I downloaded meditation music as well as some guided meditation CD?s onto my iPod and listened to them every night before bed.
- Read ? I purchased books that were either funny or related to self-improvement.
- Affirmations ? I wrote down affirmations and put them around my apartment.
- Spent time with friends.
- Connected with other positive people online.
- Watched Ellen ? love that show!
- Started an eBay business.
- Found the joy in my newborn son.
- Took breaks for myself to do things that I enjoy.
While most of the time these activities helped me get by, there were just days that I couldn?t do it no matter what I tried.? My life completely changed in less than a year and I had a very hard time adjusting with the situation I was in.? Finally, I decided that I was trying to fight too hard and that it was time to allow myself to accept what I was feeling and to allow myself to just feel.? I decided to give myself two days to just feel sad and not worry about pushing myself to be happy.? I asked my son?s father to keep him for a weekend.? I also made an appointment with my doctor for that following week to discuss my mindset so that I had at least one goal to work towards after I allowed myself a weekend of sadness.
That weekend, I slept, I ate junk food, I cried, I drank alcohol, I watched movies, I ate more junk and I slept even more.? Once Monday came around, I decided it was time to get back on my feet, congratulate myself for giving myself a weekend to feel sad and I got on with living my life.? It wound up being the best thing that I could do for myself.? I felt cleansed, refreshed and energized to make a difference for the better.
Since then, I had my medication increased and continued to fight my way through.? I am now back to working a full-time job, I moved back to my house and am supporting myself and my son, I have started to go on dates and I feel better overall.? I still have short phases where I feel very sad and lonely.? Being a mom can be so fulfilling yet so lonely.? You don?t have to be a single mom to feel that way but being a single mom is even more of a challenge and so I have started my new blog called Single Midlife Mommy and I really enjoy having an avenue to express my thoughts and my journey.
If you suffer from depression whether you are a parent or not, I am sure you can relate to my story.? Remember to not be so hard on yourself.? Allow the feelings that come with depression as well as the time to get through the emotions but make sure to have a new start day where you get back on your feet and fight.? Share your feelings with your friends and family, it is important to have support and there is no shame. Forget yesterday, do not worry about tomorrow, and stay focused on today.? Life is always full of changes and times will get better!
If you ever need a new friend to reach out to who can relate, please feel free to contact me.
Thank you to this week?s guest blogger:
Hi!? My name is Shannon. I am 39 and a single full-time mom to an 18 month old boy. I am also a full-time employee at a property management company, a part-time eBay entrepreneur and now a part-time blogger.? I have a Bachelor?s degree in Computer Information Systems and an AA degree in Business.? I have a lot of experience in Property Management, Social Media, Dating and Life in General!
I have been single since I was five months pregnant and have been through a very bumpy journey along the way. The worst part was feeling so alone. Today, things are looking brighter but I still deal with feeling a little out of place in my life. There are many challenges to being a single older mom but there are also so many rewards. I decided to share my journey with other women (and even men) who may be in a similar situation and so I created my blog called Single Midlife Mommy.? My goal for the blog is to be a place where we can all relate. I will blog about my journey, dating, working, dealing with ?the ex? and will also share tips, ideas, and money saving ideas for those on a tight budget. It is a fairly new blog but new content is added regularly.
Visit Shannon?s blog at?Exploring Happy!
Top image courtesy of imagerymajestic / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Source: http://mom-blog.com/2012/11/fighting-to-win-happy/
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